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Afraid to ask for a raise? How to get past the anxiety and land your dream salary

January 12, 2026
in Business
Reading Time: 4 mins read
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Afraid to ask for a raise? How to get past the anxiety and land your dream salary
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Lost sleep, a stepped-up heart rate and an upset stomach can all be symptoms of an upcoming performance review. That may help explain why, according to a Payscale survey, only ”43% of survey respondents have ever asked for a raise in their current field.” 

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The problem: While it’s easy to hope that your work will be recognized and rewarded, don’t count on it. As negotiation guru Chester Karrass put it, “You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.”

Often, this means stepping outside your comfort zone. There are five essential steps to overcoming jitters and negotiating your raise. One major takeaway: Preparation is your secret weapon. 

There are five essential steps to overcoming jitters and negotiating your raise. One major takeaway: Preparation is your secret weapon.  insta_photos – stock.adobe.com

Step 1: Perform market research to know your worth

Before the meeting, determine the average salary in your area for your current position. Each state varies, so check the rates in your region. Websites like GlassDoor, PayScale, and Comparably are useful starting points. 

Recruiters in your industry can verify real-time market rates. Ask peers in your field what employees with your title are taking home. Knowledge is power. 

Ask peers in your field what employees with your title are taking home. Knowledge is power.  Chaosamran_Studio – stock.adobe.com

Step 2: Build Your “Value Add” List

Identify ways you’ve contributed and make it known that you are a top performer. Create a detailed list of your accomplishments and value you have added. Be as specific as possible. 

Bring in the original job posting for your role, then compare it to a list with both your old and new responsibilities. Due to the rising cost of living and your fresh skillset, the rate you were hired at is outdated and no longer applicable.

In your negotiation, use phrases like, “This is what I accomplished,” “This is how much money I made for the company,” “This is how much money I saved for the company,” “This is how I prevented expensive lawsuits,” and “This is how I saved the company time.”

Identify ways you’ve contributed and make it known that you are a top performer. Create a detailed list of your accomplishments and value you have added. Be as specific as possible.  zong – stock.adobe.com

Step 3 : Compile Compliments

Throughout the year, archive praise you receive from managers and colleagues at work. Screenshot emails and Slack messages.

Add the best compliments to a section under your “Value Add” list under an “Accolades” section.

Step 4: Master the Meeting

It’s time to go for the gold! Dress for success. Mind your body language: Sit up straight, don’t cross your arms, lean forward, or avoid eye contact. Smile. Some kind of ice breaker, even if it’s mentioning the weather, can help establish a human connection.

Let your manager know that you appreciate the time, and how grateful you are for your position and compensation thus far. Be self-assured, but not cocky. Then, hand over a physical copy of your “Value Add” list. (If you are doing this remotely you can email him the list beforehand.)

Never bring your personal life into the equation. Your company doesn’t care about your rent, your car payments or your student loans. Everything you ask for should be positioned in terms of how it serves the company. 

Never bring your personal life into the equation. Your company doesn’t care about your rent, your car payments or your student loans. insta_photos – stock.adobe.com

After demonstrating your value, it is time to lay out your salary expectations. Here is an example:

“Based on my research, market value cites that a person with my skill set and 10 years of experience makes approximately $75K per year. However, in Los Angeles, top performing Bankers with 5 years of experience make $81,581. [Insert your company name here] states that they pay competitive rates, and given that I am a top performer, I am really hoping to be compensated accordingly, so I am hoping to make $81,581.” 

Have two salary numbers in mind: your ideal number, and your willing-to-settle number. Your ideal should be about $5K over what you feel you are really worth. Make sure your numbers are fair, and in line with the market. Voice your ideal number first when asking for a raise and second when discussing your initial base salary when accepting a new job.

(Note: Arrive armed with an exact number in mind. Never offer a salary range, which will yield the low end of your ask. Why would a company pay more when they know you will accept less?) 

When the meeting is over, thank your manager again for his time. Schedule a follow-up. Don’t worry if your manager needs time. Often approvals are needed before any green light.

After the meeting, e-mail your manager your “Value Add” list and any other supporting documents so they can be easily forwarded to anyone else involved in the approval process. fizkes – stock.adobe.com

Step 5: Follow-Up Professionally

After the meeting, e-mail your manager your “Value Add” list and any other supporting documents so they can be easily forwarded to anyone else involved in the approval process.

If your request is denied, keep your chin up. You can ask if an exception can be made, or attempt to revisit at a later date. There are other asks you can make in the interim that don’t involve a dollar sign. Your boss will work with you if he values you.

Worst case, if you feel deeply slighted after a negotiation, you’ve gained clarity about your worth – and you can take that knowledge to a workplace that will truly value and compensate you.

No matter the outcome, negotiating is always worth the anxiety and risk: If you don’t muster the courage to ask for what you want, the answer will always be “no.”

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