Being likable at work isn’t just about your personality; it’s a strategic advantage that can open doors for career advancement. Alison Fragale, organizational psychologist and author, Likeable Badass joined TheStreet to discuss her top communication strategies for becoming more well-liked in the workplace.
Transcript:
CONWAY GITTENS: So tell me, what specific behaviors and communication strategies make us more likable at work?
ALISON FRAGALE: Great question. So I called this book likable, badass – but likable is just a single term for a whole dimension of characteristics. Are you – how much do you care about other people? How easy are you to interact with other people? So likable, warm, sincere, helpful. So first thing is to remember that we have a whole variety of ways that we can show up as being concerned about other people, not just likable specifically. So the way we think about it is what is your way that you like to convey that you care about people other than yourself? It could be a compliment. It could be asking somebody a question. It could be offering some advice or some support. So anything that’s going to show the people around you, I care about you. I care about people other than me is going to be a great communication behavior or strategy that you can use. It’s a good place to start.
CONWAY GITTENS: So how do you exemplify that likable behavior without coming off as someone who is kissing up?
ALISON FRAGALE: Sure well, this is where authenticity and strategy need to coexist. So if you are doing anything solely as a strategy to get somebody else to like you, it’s going to come across poorly to them. It’s going to come across poorly to the people who are watching you. And that’s where it’s going to be seen as you’re ingratiating, you’re kissing up so that the way I would think about it is start with what feels authentic to you. I always say to people, if you don’t care about anybody other than yourself, I can’t help you. But if you do care about people, what is the ways that you like to show it? And if it comes from a spirit of authenticity, like I’m complimenting you because I’m naturally excited about something you’re doing or something you’re wearing or something you said, if I do it from authenticity, it’s going to be perceived that way both by the audience as well as other people who are observing it.
CONWAY GITTENS: And so why is being like that work more than just a popularity contest?
ALISON FRAGALE: Well, you could treat it that way, but the I’ll take a step back. The reason I titled this book, likable badass, is because I wrote I write about the science of respect, the science of status. How do you get other people to really value you and respect what you contribute and people respecting you comes from two places. It comes from them seeing you as very capable a person who can get things done. And it comes from people seeing you as someone who cares about people other than themselves. So that’s where it’s different than a popularity contest. Being sincere, being honest, being helpful, being kind. Those things are not necessarily the idea of being the the most popular person, but they are adding value to other people and it allows you to be the most respected person, which is extremely valuable and different from being the most popular person, but something that has a tremendous amount of value and contributes to your quality of life and to your ability to be successful in your career.
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