Here’s the reason why so many new years resolutions don’t last and how to stick to your goals.
Transcript:
CONWAY GITTENS: So we’ve been doing some digging around. We found some estimates that find that about 80% of people end up quitting their New Year’s resolutions by February. So what is it about New Year’s resolutions that makes them so hard to stick to?
CAROLINE ADAMS MILLER: Well, actually, they quit their resolutions, usually by Blue Monday, which is the third Monday of January, because often the biggest mistake people make is setting too many self regulation goals and not setting whatever they do set correctly. So we have a limited amount of willpower. So you don’t want to set a million goals that require delaying gratification and saying no to yourself or even three. Set one, but also set a well-formed goal. And that is the topic of my new book, because I don’t think most people know there is a science to goal setting. It’s not just about setting a goal. There’s much more to it than that.
CONWAY GITTENS: Tell me what are your top tips for actually sticking to your New Year’s resolutions. You have these performance goals. You have these learning goals. Now how do I stick to them?
CAROLINE ADAMS MILLER: OK, so first thing is make it specific. Make it specific. Know exactly what you’re driving for. No fuzziness. Secondly, don’t set too many willpower goals. You will use up all of your willpower by noon. If you’re choosing constantly between the donuts or something else. Skipping a workout. You only have so much willpower. Stick to 1, and the research shows you’re more likely to improve in all other areas. Change your circle. Make sure the circle of people around you are people who support you, and people who actually have the kinds of behaviors that are contagious that will help you accomplish your goal and then measure. Measure what matters. Always have a metric that tells you you’re getting warmer or you’re getting Colder because you may have to pivot. You may have to disengage from your goal because suddenly the environment doesn’t support it. Your life has changed. Always know how to have a quit criteria because something has changed.
Otherwise, you get into a condition I call stupid grit where you’re persisting in the face of so many obstacles it doesn’t make sense anymore. So there’s good grit, but then there’s stupid grit. So you have to know when to quit. But you also need to be resilient in the process of doing your goal. So there is a difference between not being a quitter just because you feel like it’s harder. Your brain is telling you, I’ve never done this before. You need to have some set of criteria in your brain that this is no longer fitting my life with. I really need to change the channel in my brain to go to a growth mindset and to tell myself I can get through this desire to get out of the pool. It’s too hard. It’s too hard to learn artificial intelligence and integrate it with my job. So there is a difference there. So it’s make it fuzzy. Measure your progress. Don’t set too many willpower goals and surround yourself with people who are contagiously positive, who support you, and who might even have the qualities that you want to catch from them.
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